Sunday, July 13, 2003

Note: All of these are quotes from the same person, not me, during dinner last night. The word "frell" is, as you may guess, not the one he used.

"No, really, I'm serious. I think we should definitely invade Iran. Not for the oil, though that would be a bonus, but for the frelling pistachios. I mean, have you ever seen Iranian pistachios? The motherfrellers are like almonds. We have not been able to get the frelling things for twenty-four frelling years, and I want 'em now."

"Of course I drove myself to the hospital during my heart attack. I had to get coffee."

"Yeah, it was an unusual relationship. We had to have sex in my living room. Why? Like I was going to pause Baldur's Gate for her?"

"Ed, you just need to have more fun."

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