Sunday, July 13, 2003
"No, really, I'm serious. I think we should definitely invade Iran. Not for the oil, though that would be a bonus, but for the frelling pistachios. I mean, have you ever seen Iranian pistachios? The motherfrellers are like almonds. We have not been able to get the frelling things for twenty-four frelling years, and I want 'em now."
"Of course I drove myself to the hospital during my heart attack. I had to get coffee."
"Yeah, it was an unusual relationship. We had to have sex in my living room. Why? Like I was going to pause Baldur's Gate for her?"
"Ed, you just need to have more fun."