Sunday, March 16, 2003

First of all, people who produce those full-page pop-up ads that fill your entire screen should go immediately to jail. I mean, regular pop-up ads are one thing, but the ones that you can't click out of and force you to hit Ctrl+Alt+Delete just to get the hell out of them should be subect to criminal liability. I just lost 2000 words I had written here, and I am not happy.

So I will recreate part of it, specifically my list of Top Ten Movies I am looking forward to:

10. Elektra: Assassin. For the shallowest of reasons.

9. Kill Bill More curiosity than anything, but a Quentin Tarantino martial arts movie makes for a whole lot of curiosity.

8. Cold Mountain. Jude Law as Ulysses and Nicole Kidman as Penelope, set in the chaos of the post-Civil War South. I read this book in one afternoon at my brother's house two years ago, and I loved it.

7. The Matrix Reloaded and The Matrix Revolutions. Both of them a long time coming, plus they both feature Monica Bellucci. They must be seen.

6. Marlowe. Jude Law as Shakeseare and Johnny Depp as Kit Marlowe. Go ahead, purge the horrible memory of Shakespeare in Love. Please.

5. The Chronicles of Riddick. "An evil Star Wars," says David Touhy of his return to the universe of Pitch Black, and Vin is highly enthusiastic. That is all I need to hear.

4. A Mighty Wind. The latest Christopher Guest faux-documentary with his usual repertory company, this time about washed-up Sixties folksingers. I am there.

3. Gates of Fire. The Battle of Thermopylae, 480 B.C. 300 Spartans and a few thousand other Greeks against a 200,000-man Persian army, with George Clooney as Leonidas. Attention Hollywood: This movie better get made. Brad Pitt as Achilles and Leonardo DiCaprio as Alexander the Great are not acceptable substitutes.

2. The Passion. Mel Gibson directs the Stations of the Cross in Aramaic and Latin with no subtitles. So utterly subversive to the dominant culture, I can't wait. And did I mention Monica Bellucci as Mary Magdalene?

1. Return of the King. Needless to say.

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